Notes on motherhood (part 2)
As promised a few months ago, this is the second part of my blog on motherhood and it relates to the dilemma known as work-life balance. As for the first post, this was prompted by conversations with friends/colleagues of mine on our group chat. In particular, one of my friends had a gorgeous baby back in October - she was the inspiration for the first post. Now that she is getting to the end of her statutory maternity she informed us on the chat that she had painfully come to the decision to request an unpaid leave of three months to be able to stay with her baby longer and be able to wean him before returning to work. A couple of us in the group were immediately ticked off by the word painfully and asked her for explanations. She told us that her project had several deadlines and she felt guilty (note this important keyword) that her colleagues had to take them on and cover for her, since her organization had not hired a maternity cover. It sounded like she felt it was her fault for having a baby and wanting to look after him rather than poor management from the part of her employer.
This is an all too common story among working women. A few years ago, I was an active member of a network called Earth Science Women Network (ESWN). I enjoyed the exchange of experiences and advice between the members of the network and the amazing support that they were offering to one another. I should add that this network was founded in the US, so most of the topics discussed, although of general interest, were somehow direclty informed by the experience of American female scientists. Having spent a few years in the US for my PhD, before returning to Europe, I could relate to most of the discussions. However, I do remember that when the topic discussed was maternity leave, I was suprised to realize that there were a lot of members completely trapped in guilt. They felt guilty because they had to take time off work, but also guilty because they were not going to spend a lot of time with their newborn babies. This guilt, that many mothers experience, is caused by two societal factors: cultural beliefs and complacency and institutional failure to provide support to new parents (yes, new fathers should be supported too). These two factors are especially predominant in societies where the patriarchal model is particularly strong, such as the US. What do I mean by cultural complacency? In the US (and Japan) people feel ashamed if they do not over-work. Vacation time is scarce, so you would think that people use it all. But if you ask my American and Japanese colleagues, most of them always carry over vacation days at the end of year. How is that related to maternity leave? Well, for most US workers maternity or parental leave is simply non-existent so new parents need to take a mix of vacation and sick leave to be able to scrap a few months off work to care for their babies. This is very often lived with immense guilt and almost a feeling of shame. Employers are often unsympathetic and make demands that are difficult to meet.
In Euope the situation is more varied. For example in Sweden paid parental leave lasts up to 240 days is an established right and unpaid leave can also be addedd. Nobody would ever dream not to take the leave they are entitled to, nor do I believe people feel guilty about it. In other countries around Europe, the lenght of maternity (and paternity) leave varies greatly. Again, most of the differences are down to cultural beliefs. In Italy for example, the maternity leave is 16 weeks and fully paid but the paternity leave is merely 4 days, implying that mothers are very important to the life of the newborn babies but fathers are of little use, and they should go back to work and to being productive. While this asymmetry should be addressed to allow a real parity of rights for men and women around becoming parents, the maternity benefit is at least protected. Do women in Europe feel less guitly about taking a long leave? I think so, since this is culturally more accepted as it is the fact that it is mainly the mother who needs to be there for the baby in the first few months of life. While this might be true if breastfeeding is chosen, there are now many options for a greater involvement of the fathers, and cultural beliefs around this should not go unchallenged.
When I joined ECMWF as a research consultant in 2002, women in my position did not have the right to have a paid maternity leave. In 2006, a colleague of mine got pregnant and asked for the same maternity leave as staff were entitled to. She obtained it and the director at the time, Dominique Marbouty, decided to make it into a rule for all consultants. The following year I had my first baby. I took my 20 weeks leave without a single pang of guilt. I could not take unpaid leave for personal reasons otherwise I would have done so. When I went back to work I picked up where I had left it, all my deliverables were still waiting for me, but there were no measurable delays. By the end of the project by which I was paid - the Global and regional Earth-system Monitoring using Satellite and in-situ data (GEMS) project, precursor of the Copernicus Atmosphere Monitoring Service (CAMS) most of what we had promised was delivered. The fact that I had been gone for 40 weeks (yes, I had my second baby during the same project!) was not that detrimental to the project, in the big scheme of things.
Some concluding thoughts: it is really important that employers support employees in their role as parents because this is an investment with a really high return. Moreover in the average working life of people, now being longer, an absence of a few months or even up to a few years is really not that important. What is more important is the well-being of the employees and their mental and physical health througout their working life, and being able to live their parenthood in a serene way is a big part of it.
This is an all too common story among working women. A few years ago, I was an active member of a network called Earth Science Women Network (ESWN). I enjoyed the exchange of experiences and advice between the members of the network and the amazing support that they were offering to one another. I should add that this network was founded in the US, so most of the topics discussed, although of general interest, were somehow direclty informed by the experience of American female scientists. Having spent a few years in the US for my PhD, before returning to Europe, I could relate to most of the discussions. However, I do remember that when the topic discussed was maternity leave, I was suprised to realize that there were a lot of members completely trapped in guilt. They felt guilty because they had to take time off work, but also guilty because they were not going to spend a lot of time with their newborn babies. This guilt, that many mothers experience, is caused by two societal factors: cultural beliefs and complacency and institutional failure to provide support to new parents (yes, new fathers should be supported too). These two factors are especially predominant in societies where the patriarchal model is particularly strong, such as the US. What do I mean by cultural complacency? In the US (and Japan) people feel ashamed if they do not over-work. Vacation time is scarce, so you would think that people use it all. But if you ask my American and Japanese colleagues, most of them always carry over vacation days at the end of year. How is that related to maternity leave? Well, for most US workers maternity or parental leave is simply non-existent so new parents need to take a mix of vacation and sick leave to be able to scrap a few months off work to care for their babies. This is very often lived with immense guilt and almost a feeling of shame. Employers are often unsympathetic and make demands that are difficult to meet.
In Euope the situation is more varied. For example in Sweden paid parental leave lasts up to 240 days is an established right and unpaid leave can also be addedd. Nobody would ever dream not to take the leave they are entitled to, nor do I believe people feel guilty about it. In other countries around Europe, the lenght of maternity (and paternity) leave varies greatly. Again, most of the differences are down to cultural beliefs. In Italy for example, the maternity leave is 16 weeks and fully paid but the paternity leave is merely 4 days, implying that mothers are very important to the life of the newborn babies but fathers are of little use, and they should go back to work and to being productive. While this asymmetry should be addressed to allow a real parity of rights for men and women around becoming parents, the maternity benefit is at least protected. Do women in Europe feel less guitly about taking a long leave? I think so, since this is culturally more accepted as it is the fact that it is mainly the mother who needs to be there for the baby in the first few months of life. While this might be true if breastfeeding is chosen, there are now many options for a greater involvement of the fathers, and cultural beliefs around this should not go unchallenged.
When I joined ECMWF as a research consultant in 2002, women in my position did not have the right to have a paid maternity leave. In 2006, a colleague of mine got pregnant and asked for the same maternity leave as staff were entitled to. She obtained it and the director at the time, Dominique Marbouty, decided to make it into a rule for all consultants. The following year I had my first baby. I took my 20 weeks leave without a single pang of guilt. I could not take unpaid leave for personal reasons otherwise I would have done so. When I went back to work I picked up where I had left it, all my deliverables were still waiting for me, but there were no measurable delays. By the end of the project by which I was paid - the Global and regional Earth-system Monitoring using Satellite and in-situ data (GEMS) project, precursor of the Copernicus Atmosphere Monitoring Service (CAMS) most of what we had promised was delivered. The fact that I had been gone for 40 weeks (yes, I had my second baby during the same project!) was not that detrimental to the project, in the big scheme of things.
Some concluding thoughts: it is really important that employers support employees in their role as parents because this is an investment with a really high return. Moreover in the average working life of people, now being longer, an absence of a few months or even up to a few years is really not that important. What is more important is the well-being of the employees and their mental and physical health througout their working life, and being able to live their parenthood in a serene way is a big part of it.
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